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Alexander — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 11:11:34 +0000

Top 10 Proudest Accomplishments

Alexander — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 15:59:08 +0000

Graduate from college
Became a Christian
Learned right from wrong
Have a baby
Get married, stay married, and live happily ever after
Become a Christian
Found my soul
Hovered above the ground
Quit smoking
Get my own place

This is a meta list found on listofbests.com, automatically generated out of dozens of "Top 10 Proudest Accomplishments" lists.

Quite interesting that 6 (out of 10) accomplishments (2,3,5,6,7,8) are closely related to Religion (or Christianity) and 2 others don't have a lot to do with really accomplishing something extraordinary or at least with a substantial effort (have a baby: around 100'000'000 people already did that at least once; get my own place: in the us, you easily get a mortgage even when you're bankrupt).

So there are actually only two real accomplishments in the list: graduate from college (strongly related to your social status, so only half a point) and quit smoking (the secret winner: respect for that one!). What are your top 10 accomplishments?

Zurich from sucky to ducky

Alexander — Sun, 03 Dec 2006 11:41:49 +0000

People who don't seem to believe in anything vs. what they actually believe in (some).
A lifeless city centre (Bahnhofstrasse): consumerist hell during the day, empty at night.
They spent 75% of their cultural subventions for the opera house, can you believe this?
People who believe in something vs. what they actually believe in (majority).
The "don't tell me I'm not cool, pleease!" atmosphere. Relax, god-damn!
How nice is it to get around by bike here, right?
Nice coffee and tasty cakes everywhere.
A lively street art scene vs. a strict anti-graffiti policy
A lot of cinemas with an interesting programme.
Hey, we still have beautiful turn of the century architecture, the lake, the rivers, and we can see the Alps on sunny days.
People who really believe in something (and I don't mean 'the benefits of cash flow optimisation' here) and actually act that way (minority).

Bye-bye November

Alexander — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 23:59:30 +0000

Disconnected.
Tired and 'somewhere in between'.
From downcast to enthusiastic.
Sleepwalking.
Almost slipped sometimes…
Trembling.
Unfocussed but much better.
Blurry and a bit sick but somewhat more positive.
Upside down, round and round we're go-ing.
Terrible grey shit day.
Still grey but with some pink spots.
The pink spots seem to take over.
Really having a killer time on a Monday?
Sweet!
Very long day but still: positive.
Tired, tired but in a good mood.
Busy day with a pleasantly unexpected ending.
Felicita = cakes and Karaoke!
Hungover.
Long unnessecarily hectic day.
Happy that the 14h shifts are over.
Are they?
A bit unfocused but why focus now?
End-of-the-week-beginning-of-the-weekend-tiredness.
Hungover (again? what's that?).
Pleasant spring-like day with matching mood.
Fidgety and unfocused but positive.
Focused and calm.
Long day ending in a conspiratorial step closer.
Quiet with a (signified) stroll through 'une forêt oubliée'.

On to the December of lists!

Versuch einer Elf-Sekunden-Liste

Alexander — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 10:03:16 +0000

Freudenberg
Franziskaner
Furunkel
Fischotter
Bandage
Abfall
Elektronik
Fahrstrasse
Heinz
Schmiere
Brot

Der Versuch, ohne vorgehende Themenwahl eine Liste in elf Sekunden zu erstellen scheiterte – Überraschung! – zuerst am zu langsamen Niederschreiben (Tippfehler und 'Aus' bei Wort 1). Im zweiten Anlauf liess sich die 'Kreation' hingegen in elf Sekunden bewältigen, d.h. ich habe die in elf Sekunden zusammengebrezelten Begriffe einfach später aufgeschrieben. Schreit nach einer tiefenpsychologischen Deutung!

Ansatz: (1) Ist glaub ich ein Gymnasium in Zürich, zu welchem ich keine Verbindung habe. (2) eine Biersorte und ein Restaurant im Niederdorf. (3) bis (5) selbsterklärend und abgesehen vom Anfangsbuchstaben wohl ohne Hintergrund. (6) Ich bearbeite gerade ein Projekt, welches mit Abfall zu tun hat. (7) Geschummelt: die Armbanduhr, welche die Sekunden abzählte, ist digital. (8) ?. (9) Heinz hiesse einer unserer Firmeninhaber. (10) ?. Und nein, ich habe Heinz nicht geschmiert . (11) Vielleicht von Brot schmieren? Oder Panik kurz vor Ablauf, darum was absolut Grundsätzliches?

Genug! Dies war der 17. Versuch einer Liste diesen Monat. Versucht mit!

Next chapter!

Alexander — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 08:22:33 +0000

Blurry blurry letters dancing around, la-la-la-la, what the hell, next chapter.
Woah, how can it take me 20 min to read one small text – still I don't remember most of it. Focus!
"Wait, wait, wait, what did he say again?"
Ok, ok now lets separate my 5'000'000'000 tasks into three categories: urgent, important, later. Great. And now lets start doing something totally else.
Waiting for someone else to do my work – where is he? Who is he?
Always trying to sneak to the next break, lunch, evening, day, weekend… waiting…
What exactly do people think I do all day long?
Mental shadow boxing and sword fighting, right. Oh well, actually I'm always waiting for something to happen which I know exactly never will but still… peacefully waiting.
And again it's 'up-side-down, round and round we're going'… phew.
What about the 'in-side-out…'? No, no, no. What for?
Well lets draw a line here, look at it for a while, step over it – won't hurt, will it? Next chapter!

Another day, another list. It's day twelve in November 2006, day 11'286 in my life. Shit!, I missed day 10'000, that would have been something to celebrate! And oh!, that also means I have around 20'000 lists to assemble in the remaining 60 years. Help!

Was wieviele Schweizer weniger als ein Mal pro Woche tun

Alexander — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 08:59:33 +0000

Ins Theater, in die Oper oder an eine Kunstausstellung gehen 98.5
Ins Kino gehen 97.8
In eine Disco oder in ein Dancing gehen 94.0
Kurse besuchen (z.B. Sprach-, Koch-, Handwerkkurse) 90.3
Musizieren, z.B. selber ein Instrument spielen, singen 76.6
In eine Bar, eine Beiz oder ein Restaurant gehen 50.9
Basteln, Handarbeiten, werken, Gartenarbeit 46.1
Alleine oder mit anderen Sport treiben 38.1
Spazieren 27.4
Sich mit Freunden, Bekannten, Kollegen treffen 23.8
Lesen 8.1

Erfasst im Jahr 2003, in % der Bevölkerung ab 14 Jahren. Quelle: BfS, Schweizer Haushalt-Panel. Da fragt man sich, was die Leute denn eigentlich so machen, nicht? Dies ist der zehnte Beitrag für den verlisteten November. Fühlt sich sonst noch jemand listig?

Elf ‘vs.’

Alexander — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 09:12:00 +0000

Hedonismus vs. 'Simbawe? Hmm?'
Migros-Budget Shrimps vs. Mangroven
Omnicom Group vs. Medien
Datamining vs. Datenschutz
Geistige Gesundheit vs. 20 Minuten
Kulturelles Erbe vs. Handy-TV
No future vs. No past
Die Gegenwart vs. 'what kind of a fucking future is that going to be?'
Gier vs. 130 Millionen Jackpot vs. 895 Millionen im Dreck vs. Flachbild-TV-Leasing
Schutzfaktor 36 vs. Easyjet
Jacke wie Hose vs. The BIG BIG BIG Conspiracy vs. Conspiranoia vs. Youtube und Flickr und Studifreunde.com vs. Schulfreunde.ch vs. swissfriends.ch vs. please leave me alone, ok? vs. schon wieder einer? vs. meiner ist doch lang genug vs. wohin, wohin, wohin? vs. warum nicht einfach ausschalten und offline bleiben vs. Smartphone vs. sparen, warum nicht? vs. vorsorgen vs. vorsorgen wofür? vs. ab in den Dschungel vs. Fliegen weg wedeln vs. connect the dots vs. capitalism has ruined my childhood and now i'm really mad vs. 300'000'000'000 Million vs. in chopf schüssä vs. you can function outside vs. you can't… vs. effexor vs. i see a darkness vs. jetztgsehnisdännnümm vs. booyaka-booyaka vs. how much is the fish vs. ou chumm jetzt längts, gäu.

Alles klar? Das ist der achte Beitrag für den Listennovember. Listet mit!

November Isms

Alexander — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 09:33:36 +0000

Hedonism
Nihilism
'To hell with it'-ism
'We are big big big big and important'-ism (is that nationalism? Hmm?)
Errorism
Schism
Altruism
Consumerism
Boratism
Shizzle-my-nizzle-ism
'Will you please stop nagging and shut the fuck up? Ok? Pleeeaasse?'-ism

What the hell is that? Well, this is my seventh post for the 'November of lists'. Lists are brainfood. Eat!

Ein Nieten-Loop in elf Takten

Alexander — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 10:32:50 +0000

Nietengürtel
Gürteltier
Tierfutter
Futternapf
Napfgebiet
Gebietsverlust
Verlustschein
Scheininvalide
Invalidenversicherung
Versicherungsbeamter
Beamtennieten

Das ist der zweite Beitrag im 'November der Listen'. Es ist ein Klacks, eine Liste zusammenzustiefeln – stiefelt!

The day I left from Russia (and went back to Switzerland)

Alexander — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 20:29:48 +0000

01:30 Decide to go to bed after having chatted some time with Natalya, the woman doing the night shift in the hostel and unemployed actress (played in 'Prostie vjeshy' (simple things) the newest movie by the director of 'Koktebel'). The other guests of the hostel (all English or Australian) are either asleep or on their daily drinking excursion in a nearby club.
02:30 (a guess) Finally fell asleep after a dozen run-ins with the local mosquito community.
03:15 The first few of the seven backpackers in my room come home – tanked up and reeking of booze. Finally more targets for the mosquitoes.
04:00 More backpackers (more drunk) come back, some others snore heavily. For some reason I must have pulled out my earplugs. I remember having put them somewhere in half-sleep – but where?
04:15 Snoring concert. Can't fucking sleep like that. Where are those earplugs?
04:25 Try to find my earplugs with the help of my mobile phones dim screen-light. No success.
05:40 Woah!!, crazy, crazy dream that was! So I slept? Nice.
06:10 Oh god, another of those dreams! Daylight. Snoring. Finally spot the earplugs on the floor. Peace and quiet.
08:40 Only 08:40? Too early to get up. For the hundredth time go through my schedule for today: Flight at 14:45, check in two hours before (lots of luggage), some time to pay my fine for changing the flight, 1 hour in train, 15 min in train station, 20 min in metro, 10 min in metro station, 15 min to metro station, 30 min for breakfast, 30 for shower and getting up equals getting up at 9:30.
09:30 Thanks a lot! Finally. Fuck!
10:00 Breakfast with some of the hungover backpackers. Some fucking stories about the Trans-Siberian for the 20th time.
10:30 Time to say good-bye. Francois, the owner of the hostel, offers me a job if I don't find one in Zürich (where he studied a hundred Million years ago).
A bearded strange little southafrican guy who works as a scientist in Vienna joins me to the metro station (Kurskaja) where we hurriedly say god-bye.
My arms almost fall off because the damn bag is so heavy. Worried the thousandth time about too much luggage. But impossible, I think, because my brother already took some stuff back to Switzerland, I dumped some heavy items and, well, didn't buy a lot so it should be less than the 24kg I had a year ago.
12:30 Arrival at Domodedovo airport. Everything went smooth.
12:40 Swiss wants a 100$ for changing my flight. Here you go…
12:50 Check in. Lift my bag on the scale. 27kg. Fuck! (I even mumble that). Begin to sweat and try to put on my poker face. Lots of excuses ready. "And please also your hand luggage". And another 12kg. Doublefuck! I think about running away. "Expensive, that will be! Very expensive!" Friend Aino's 200$ for a few extra kilos pop into my mind. Eleven extra kilos multiplied by 10% of the ticket price equals roughly – hell! – 110% of the ticket price. 700 CHF? Panic! But then the girls says just "have a nice flight". I quickly walk away.
13:05 Big airport, actually. What to do with the remaining Rubles? Eating something would be nice!
13:07 Decided to check out the gate-area which brought me to a massive queue: hundreds of people, mainly from the South (Kavkaz, Azerbaijan…) waiting to pass the customs control.
13:15 Swiss people seem to be privileged. Nice.
13:16 Massive queue number two: Passport check.
13:25 The police officer doesn't understand my passport and is happy that I understand his questions in Russian. Thorough examination anyway.
13:30 Shoe taking-off time again. A woman fumbles me all over. No b-o-m-b-s.
13:35 Still a shitload of Rubles left. Buy a sandwich, two cokes, a Perrier, a coffee, a chocolate éclair and a sweet something called 'Trjuff'(it doesn't look like truffe at all). All very nice.
13:55 Proceed to gate. Lots of people waiting. A few look swiss, most don't.
14:15 Check in. The woman in the plane says "Grüezi". Nice.
14:50 Take off. The Co-Pilot flies. Hope he did it before.
14:55 Moscow from above. Very green. Lots of forests around. Dachas look expensive from above. Good-bye. I liked this city a lot.
15:20 Good-bye Russia. We are over Belarus.
15:40 Food is served. The flight attendant is quite impatient and rude with the Russians who don't understand her English. Very funny.
15:41 I get a vegan meal. Rice and something with eggplant. Very tasty. The dessert disappointing though: a fucking Granny Smith plastic apple (I hate them!) and a rice cracker.
15:51 Finished eating. Start to read. It's 'Life – a users manual' by Georges Perec. This could easily be the second best novel I ever read (after 'Master and Margarita' by Michail Bulgakov).
16:40 Give up reading, too tired for this intricate story, think about some technical stuff I want to do next week (like changing this weblog) and some recent (or not so recent) lists pop into my mind, like Gabi's recital of a terrible working day. Decide to write such a list to kill time.
17:22 Woah, already over Germany! 362km to go. Time to take a break…
17:58 Back in Switzerland. At least on the map. It's cloudy outside…
18:05 Landed in Zürich. It rains. No applause for the landing as it was custom in the past on Swissair flights.
18:10 Leaving the plane. Outside two police officers check people immediately. Unless you are Swiss, like me.
18:13 Passport control takes 20 seconds.
18:14 My bag was already waiting for me at the exit (how is that possible?) so I'm out. Nobody here?
18:15 See my brother, my father and my (other) brother's girlfriend.
18:16 Bump into a guy and say 'izvinitie' – oh, forgot I'm not in Russia anymore.
18:17 Say hello to everyone. A bit strange. My father doesn't look as bad a suspected.
18:25 In the car to my parents place, chatting with my brother.
19:10 Arriving at my parents place. My father didn't say a word in the car. Everything looks like one year ago.
19:12 Saying hello to my mother. She didn't change. Neither did I, she says.
19:14 Back in my old room. Everything like it was. Feel like in a dim dream.
19:17 Sitting down in the dining room to eat cake and drink tea.
19:40 My friend calls, he missed me at the airport. Will meet him tomorrow.
19:41 Neighbors arrive, kiss and hug them all, forgetting again that I'm in Switzerland.
21:32 Go to my room after lots of chatting. Send a few sms. Start the big 'catch up with the world' by visiting a handful of record label websites. Surprisingly few new records in that year…
22:15 My mother comes in and tells me about her health problems and why my father is not in a clinic yet. Heavy, heavy stuff.
22:50 Decided that it might be time to post this before I pass out. Log into sirruf.net/essence and see that there is a new version of the bloging software. Decide to update and by doing this, fuck up the whole system.
23:30 Still trying to solve the problem. God damn!
23:37 Post a help request in a support forum.
23:50 Give up for today and take 'essence' offline. Nicely done, young man, nicely done.
23:54 Try to read a few pages in my novel before going to sleep (and not to think of what I left behind today).

Alexander was in Russia for a year. You can read about it here. All times in Moscow time (GMT +3).

In the beer garden

Spregel — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 10:05:56 +0000

Yes, sweetie, please bring me an Apfelschorle with a pair of Wiener sausages and mustard. – Ja, Schbozl, bring ma doch bidde a Apfeschoale mid und a Boa Wiena mit Semft.
I take a pale ale and a portion of roast pork with dumplings. – I wea ma a Bia nemma und a Boazion Schwainsbron mit Gnedln.
I would like a pale, an Apfelschorle and a coke-mix please. – A Mass, a Apfeschoale und an Spezi, biddsche.
One portion of pommes, a pair of Wiener sausages and a good piece of freshly roasted pork with juicy crust. Please also give me some mustard for the sausages and ketchup for the french fries. – Oamoi Bommes, oa Boa Wiena und a schens Schdiggl frischn Schwainsbron mid am safdign Grustal. Fia d’Wiaschdl gemsma an Semft und fia de Bommes an Kötschab.
Very good, I am arriving just about the right time. Please give me also a portion of this. And one of these crunchy pretzels. -Ja, sauba sog I, do bin I ja grod no rechd kumma. Gem’s ma fo dem no a Boazion, biddsche. Und a resche Brezn.
Here that are 25 and its alright. – Do, des san fümfazwanzge und des basd scho.
Thanks and enjoy your meal! – Danggsche und an Guadn!

the best expression:

schens Schdiggl frischn Schwainsbron mid am safdign Grustal

Spregel

Talk is cheap

Steph — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 15:36:13 +0000

Topics of the most boring dinner conversation i’ve so far had to endure (in a steak house)

something surprisingly boring about aeroplanes
public transport
real estate (in general)
building an extension on the roof
house prices in milan, london and malta
tax law (for crying out loud!)
car models in comparison, and investments, and some more about money
how long it takes to get to cardiff by coach (apparently it takes 4 hours. however, they managed to keep this topic going for around 10 minutes, as there might be inclement weather conditions, trains might be out of order, etc)
the story of how this accountant once took the coach to cardiff
the various types of tiles one could lay in one’s kitchen

Topics of a (decent) dinner conversation i had last night (in a garden)

elizabethan make-up (painted blue veins, lead powder & black teeth)
robin drumsticks served with fly steak and ant kebabish
building bird houses (the perils thereof)
Leo Bersani’s essay “Is the rectum a grave?” (and the related question “does anal sex mean loss of self?”)
Luce Irigaray, and Tom of Finland
what punks and the blacksmiths in czech fairy tales have in common
cheap clothing retailers, glory holes, japanese football comics
the story of how a friend once kissed a soho hooker who then died
how to poison people with small yew trees, and the perfect alibi

Surviving in Russia

Alexander — Tue, 02 May 2006 15:50:18 +0000

Basic Russian – you don’t need one phrase more to survive in Russia. Bold: stress of the word.

privjet – hello. Alternatively zdrastvuite which is a bit more formal.
paka – bye. Alternatively da svidanja.
ja ne panimaju – I don’t understand. Helpful in many situations, e.g. when you want peace and quiet for a moment.
eta pashaluista – this please. To buy something in a shop.
sibirskaja korona – a beer brand. To buy beer in a kiosk where you cannot just point and say eta pashaluista. Alternatively krasnae samara, a cheaper beer in 1.5 liter plastic bottle.
java sinuju salatuju – a cigarette brand, means Java, blue, gold. Alternatively LM sinii, LM blue.
karta megafon – a prepaid card for your mobile. Alternatively: Karta mts, karta beeline, etc.
na astanovkje astanavitje – stop at the next stop. For the minibuses, where you have to announce the stop you want to get off.

That’s basically it. Anything more could just be word too much that brings you into trouble in dark dangerous Russia.

A Dirty Alphabet

Alexander — Wed, 11 Jan 2006 13:17:43 +0000

analogous
banality
canal
dioganal
epanalepsis
fianal
godwanaland
hexanal
intracanalicular
jeanalt
kanal
lamianal
microcanal
nocturanal
octanal
panalpine
quianalous
rohanaline
sidecanal
tympanal
unanalyzed
vanalastics
wizanalment
xenitanal
yridanal
zyclamatianal

Alexander is in Russia where he improves his English.

5 Reasons Why Taste Sucks

Alexander — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 19:59:15 +0000

You constantly have to lie to others (‘look at that nice new t-shirt of mine! do you like it?’), because being honest starts wars
It makes you stay home when others go out to enjoy a flabbergasting concert (You Too?) or see a fantabulous movie (Mr. and Mrs. Schmisss)
You feel sick if people tell you about their newest discoveries or adventures (‘You know, I’m totally into Koldpay, Lord of the Ringz, TPM shirts, at the moment. That’s the shit, right?’)
It costs a lot of money, time and energy
It makes you a lonely nerd

Wulf is a nerd – but happy to be one!

5 Invaluable Expert Email Functions Most People Don’t Know

Alexander — Thu, 04 Aug 2005 11:00:19 +0000

And no, you really don’t need a stamp. Any other questions? Ask alex.

Wanted: More Lists

Alexander — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 01:30:55 +0000

We need more lists!

Classic videogames
10 reasons why Reggae sucks
Worst Slayer lyric lines
Favourite equipment
Most pleasant Sunday afternoon pastime
Worst habits of flatmates
Remarkable character traits of ex-girlfriends/boyfriends
Political puppets
Fictional characters
Novel protagonists
Fictional gangs
Real gangs
Supportable crimes
5 pros and 5 cons of drugs and why drugs win

4 Examples of Impressive Corporate Identity, Icon and Logo Designs by Alex.

Alexander — Sat, 09 Jul 2005 20:29:33 +0000

UDSSR 1922-1991 Logo example: Hammer & Sickle. Icon example: Lenin. Reason for 1st place: endurance.
Germany 1933-1945 Logo example: Swastika. Icon example: D�lf. Better CI than UDSSR but shortlived.
Christianity 0-2005 Logo example: Cross. Icon example: Jesus. Lousy CI but tons of points for longevity.
Trystero (fictional) Logo: muted posthorn. Icons: Trystero riders in black capes. Shitloads of points for design and conspirational potential.

10 männliche Vornamen mit H und einem unbestrittenen Potential zum Elternmord

Steve — Wed, 06 Jul 2005 12:08:00 +0000

Hagen
Hartwin
Heiko
Heinz
Helmbrecht
Hergen (sogar doppelt gestraft: Björn-Hergen Schimpf)
Heribert (natürlich Fassbender: “Und jetzt skandieren die Fans wieder: Türkiye! Türkiye!, was so viel heisst wie Türkei! Türkei!”)
Holger
Hugbald
Hugo