Essence » Hate

Vielleicht besser eins warten?

Alexander — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:27:42 +0000

Manchmal sind die Zeichen überdeutlich! Das Paket ging mit der Nummer 667 weg. Aber warum wohl diese derart klare Warnung vor dem Einfaches Anlegen Deposito-Konto?

Some rants against advertisement

Alexander — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 11:38:40 +0000

Advertisers are self-obsessed hypocrites and nihilists who gradually shape and transform our lifes into a consumerist rat-race.
Talented people waste their skills on bringing success to toilet paper, anti-flu medication and other equally important things.
Ad agencies manage to trap some of the most creative and talented people (where do you get easier cash for your talent, advertisement or art?).
With an ever greater gap between the budgets of advertisement and pr-firms and media companies, advertisers have a massive influence and impact on media.
Advertisers who order, produce, influence, undermine, buy, collect, sell art have a massive impact on art. One example: visual styles of movies who are more and more influenced by ads.
The bigger picture: the actual state of the world vs. what advertisers do to make it even worse.
The bigger picture part two: the actual state of the world vs. what the skilled people who work in advertisement could but don't do to make it better.

Boy, I'm glad I'm out of that scene! Who comes up with more rants?

Pillow Talk

Steph — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 18:50:20 +0000

Illustrator: ‘Gosh, guess what I’ve just been dreaming about. F—ing inDesign!”Graphic Designer: ‘Yeah… but those dreams used to be a lot worse with QuarkXPress…”

November Highlights

Steph — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 17:20:14 +0000

fake blood

mist

snazaroo white

tall men in capes ringing bells

gloomy evenings

leaves blowing in the wind

carrot, pumpkin & sweet potato stew

bonfires

all those awful horror flicks on tv

Famous Duellists

Alexander — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 13:27:31 +0000

Salvador Allende (President of Chile; draw against Raúl Rettig)
Otto von Bismarck (German chancellor; draw against Georg Freiherr von Vincke)
Giacomo Casanova (Playboy; draw against Franz Xaver Branicki)
Alexandre Dumas (French writer; draw against Frédéric Gaillardet)
Alexander Hamilton (Co-founder of the US of A; lost against Aaron Burr)
Heinrich Heine (German writer; draw against Salomon Strauss)
Andrew Jackson (US president; won against Charles Dickinson)
Ferdinand Lassalle (German socialist; lost against Count von Racowitza)
Mikhail Lermontov (Russian poet; lost against Nikolai Martynov)
Marcel Proust (French writer; draw against Jean Lorrain)
Alexander Pushkin (Russian poet; lost against Georges d'Anthès)

This is the first post for the 'November of lists'. It's easy to slap together a list – do so!

Rotten Apples

Patrik — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 17:44:37 +0000

Heute habe ich, bevor ich das Heus verlassen habe, noch beschlossen meinen nichtnutzigen kleinen Ipod-shuffle mitzunehmen. Leider gab das widerborstige kleine Ding keinen Ton von sich, als ich es in Gang setzten wollte. Jawohl; in Gang setzten wollte ich das verdammte verfickte Arschding. Zu allem Übel blinkte das blöde Stück jetzt noch so unverschämt vor sich hin. Da bin ich auch schon auf 180!!! Ok, Gebrauchsanweisung hervorkramen, nach 10 Sekunden immer noch nix gefunden. Jetzt raste ich aus und werfe den verfluchten kleinen Bastard mit voller Wucht quer durch mein Zimmer. Dabei treffe ich unglücklicherweise den Bildschirm meines 2500 fränkigen Powerbooks. Das wird teuer!

5 things I hate about myself

Anonymous — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 12:02:39 +0000

my excessive sexuality
my addiction to depression
my squeamishness
my lack of motivation and ambition
my inability to finish my undone projects

Gabi F enters the doom

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 22:10:54 +0000

hier der tolle ablauf meines tages 15.2.06:

0640h der wecker klingelt

0719h das 2. erwachen, ich hab meinen bus verpasst

0725h 2 mitarbeitern telefoniert, einer holt mich ab

0745h stelle fest, dass der regen meine kreidespuren verwischt hat

0800h werde abgeholt, mein mitarbeiter weint im auto, ihm geht’s nicht gut, hat eine depressive phase

0815h bin im wald, sammle �ste zusammen, werfe sie aufs feuer

0900h denke an meine gute freundin, der es schlecht geht

0930h pause. versuche die nicht witzigen, besserwisserischen und absolut beschissenen geschichten meines halbstarken chefes zu ignorieren. was f�r ein kotzbrocken!

1042h mir f�llt ein, dass ich einen meiner mitarbeiter gestern GRUNDLOS mit einer erfundenen geschichte angelogen habe. f�hl mich wie dreck. ich=halbstark&kotzbrocken.

1100h der weinende mitarbeiter macht lange pause. ich versuche ihn aufzumuntern. er lacht.

1110h das fucking feuer bl�st mir den rauch ins gesicht

1158h mittag. ich l�se das 20 minuten kreuzwortr�tsel und esse reis in einer uncle ben’s sweet&sour souce. zum kotzen.

1230h es f�ngt an zu regnen. ich spendiere m-budget japonais zum dessert.

1305h ich sammle wieder �ste

1400h der regen regnet und das feuer bl�st mich mit seinem rauch zur weissglut

1448h ich versuche eine schnitzelbank auf baseldeutsch auf zu sagen. bekomme komplimente, versage aber meiner meinung nach total

1500h noch eine stunde arbeiten. m�sste aufs klo. verklemm es mir.

1610h wir fahren zum bahnhof. man sagt mir, ich m�sse morgen mit dem bus zur arbeit. fickt euch doch selber.

1640h sitze im bus. hosen sind nass und dreckig. ich friere und meine h�nde stinken nach meinen handschuhen.

1700h bin zu hause. sehe die 101 schlechtesten outfits. kate hudson ist geil.

1810h simpsons. skinner hat einen roten punkt auf der unterhose.

1900h duschen.

1930h esse hirse und karotten. entdecke das gleiche im k�hlschrank mit gr�nem schimmelpilz.

2015h basel hat gewonnen. ei der daus.

2052h rufe meine gute freundin an. sie macht sweet&sour meet balls aus amerika. w�nsche ihr guten appetit

2100h spiele gitarre. der alki von unten schreit wieder in seiner wohnung herum. f�hle mich gest�rt, h�re auf.

2111h internet. schaue die page meiner alten schule an. entdecke zwei bilder von mir.

2135h entdecke das sch�ne m�dchen aus der ehemaligen 3e auf einem photo. hach!

2200h begrabe meine heutigen musikalischen ambitionen endg�ltig

2220h beginne meinen tag aufzuschreiben

2245h f�hle mich viel besser. war doch gar nicht so schlimm. danke

At least 10 reasons why you better don’t buy an ipod

Spregel — Mon, 08 Aug 2005 18:21:57 +0000

they stink like horses
the size doesn’t fit my a***ole
the battery always runs out exactly at the time you really depend on this damn thing
the volume is not loud enough
it’s white (I wouldn’t go as far as name this piece a neo-fascist jukebox, but…)
it doesn’t play my most loved album: Operation Stackola from Luniz when it’s supposed to do
it doesnt have the menu language ‘swiss german’
one has to feed it with its own music
it never anwers when I ask something
and…
ahh… cut that crap: it’s just a damn peace of shit (why do I have to blubber around if I can say it straight out)

The ‘why I hate computers’ list by Juu Lee

Anonymous — Mon, 08 Aug 2005 11:13:43 +0000

cause they hate me
they make me be cross-eyed
they keep me from working (and make me do shity things like this list)
i’m dependent on them (this f* computer controlls my life!!)
they make me be in a room with 41 other computers (and the crazy people in front of them)
they watch me all the time
they make me sit at the HTE
i get a headache sitting two minutes in front of the monitor
above all i wanna thank my computer for being the ugliest, most stupid, craziest and most wicked grey thing i’ve ever owned.

Places in Zürich where I wish I had my AK 47 with me.

Patrik — Mon, 01 Aug 2005 18:59:41 +0000

Xenix (all these fancy Zürich-people, with their fancy clothes and ignorant attitude make me sickkk!)
Chinawiese (dogshit, hackysack-playing jerks, needless to say more)
Kaufleuten (what can you say!?)
Dachkantine (no comment)
Bogen 13 (I’m so glad that the SBB took care of this fucking shithole)
Kalkbreite (They sure know how to annoy people with their lousy program)
Abart (what place is this anyway? Makes you feel like you’re in highschool again)
Rote Fabrik (has anybody of you seen a good concert there in the last 2 Years???)
Rüdigerstrasse (the same problem as with Kalkbreite. These Squatters should rather stick to their Antifa-shit, than organizing ‘cultural events’!
Tonimolkerei
Rohstofflager

Patrik is so full of hate, but still he’s got so much L.O.V.E. to give!

5 reasons why my flatmate is, not a bad person, but totally crazy.

Zoe — Sat, 23 Jul 2005 12:32:18 +0000

she wants me to close the toilet seat. mind you, i’m a chick, she doesn’t ask that i take the toilet seat down or something equally boring, she wants me to shut the whole fucking thing. – because who knows what the toilet monster might do at night if we let him out…
she cuts the butter so that it keeps straight angles until the very last bite. - it’ important that everything inside the fridge looks good. what would the people think ??
she spends all her money on furniture rather than on drugs/ records/ travels/ underaged boys/ … like any healthy person would do.
she cleans at night when she can’t sleep. – but what was that that woke ME up ? the VACUUM CLEANER ?? it’s 3 in the morning !!.
she cleans the inside of the coffee machine. - it’s important that there is no stains inside the coffee machine. what would the people think ??

don’t misunderstand me : i love the girl. but she’s insane.

The Big ‘Do Nots’ on Stage And Their Victims

Anonymous — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 23:36:11 +0000

guitar/drum solos – too many to list…
talking too much annoying/senseless stuff - yeah you’re meant favez and stop playing that odd “in XXXX (fill in local town) the people are nice blabla…” song
ventilators to blow yr hair – dave wyndorf
playing more than 4 string basses – hmm dunno, use comment function…
play with no t-shirt on – many many, but slash’s my favourite
synchro dance – add any boy/bitchgroup here – my fav: rene baumann he got the freshest rhymes!
general posing – again too many to list but i was shocked a few weeks ago when i saw a concert of the darkness on tv, you can’t top that!
adjust distortion channel quieter than the normal – dont remember their name but it was great.
changing clothes for songs – dont know who to pick, there are too many hoes
pyrotechnical effects – again rene baumann has nice ones, but ithink the best is metallica’s hames jetfield who got burned by his ownstage show
hiding studio musicians behind amp towers – placebo, first it wasonly a piano player, now they got 2 man behind there, next year?
making guitar solos with a drill machine – mr.big. well he got punished by electric schock on stage, should be clear now.
trying to score chicks for other band members – funkst�rung: mc tes tried to get some bootie for fakesch. didn’t work.
makingassumptions about the political/social/economic background of thelocations/cities you play at (and you actually know shit about) and sharing them with the audience - recent example: devendra bahnwart called rote fabrik an ‘alternative punk rock place’

David often covers his eyes because of the shameful things others do and is also insanely famous.

5 Pathetic Events Braindead Morons Waste Summer Days On

Alexander — Sun, 17 Jul 2005 23:20:52 +0000

5. Street-Parade Peace, love and Schwiiizer-Illustrierte. Pathetic punks!
4. Ironman Switzerland And they even pay 500 bucks for that idiotry!
3. Z�ri-Marathon Same price, more running, no swimming. Hence: more stupid!
2. Swiss Inline Cup Z�rich Thank god for every tram-rail in Z�rich! Fl�ged uf d’Schnor� ihr truurige Seck!

And the winner is:
1. Monday Night Skate Holocaust God damn those ‘ich bin uufgschtellt und untern�hm�nsluschtig!’ Swiss-Date dimwits terrorising half of Schwiitzerland each weak!

10 things we hate about our roommate

Patrik — Sun, 17 Jul 2005 21:35:11 +0000

He is ugly
He’s always H.O.M.E.
He sometime fucks his girlfriend
He never cleans anything
He is ugly
He is listening to reggae-music
He is wearing a hand-knitted reggae-scarf
He is ugly
He owns a 5 string Bass
Last but not least, he is not able to shit in the toilet

Posted by Petra who is gonna be a Hollywoodstar in the near future and Patrik, who is a Wannabe-Rockstar.

10 Reasons Why Reggae Sucks by Dominic

Anonymous — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 11:58:06 +0000

“oh no no no no” is not a line
“no woman, no cry” has been proved to be a lie
“ethno and very relaxed” just takes it too far
“ethno but no concept at all” stinks
since reggae sucks, cheech bongo sucks as well, but if it wasn’t for reggae, he’d be great and world famous and our saviour
reggae flyers/posters
white reggae dudes and dudas
mundart reggae is worse than g�l�
reggae & bobby are like grunge & kurt – dead!
reggae is the reason for ragga

Dominic says: “Now please gimme ten reasons why ragga is worse than reggae! i tried to make a list, but then my body went off on its own and i started to cry… please help me!!!!” And let’s not forget he is also mind-bogglingly good-looking, very famous and part of John Sars.

Draft and Help Request: Overrated Bands

Alexander — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 01:40:35 +0000

Inspired by a boring concert of Devendra Banhart, I want to compile a list of bands who generally get positive reviews but actually blow big time. Here’s a draft. Help me and post suggestions and comments!

New, hip and boring

Adam Green
Devendra Banhart
Franz Ferdinand
The Futureheads
Jack "D’Meitli h�nd mir s’Glace klaut" Johnson
Kaiser Chiefs
Maximo Park
Wir sind Helden

One hit wonders, rip-offs, boring adults

Audioslave
Jamie Lidell
Mouse on Mars
Pavement
The White Stripes
Underworld

They should have quit years ago

Aphex Twin
Beck
David Bowie
The Cure
Funkst�rung
Kraftwerk
Lou Reed
Massive Attack
Mos Def
Sting
Talib Kweli
Wu-Tang Clan

No comment necessary

Bj�rk
Coldplay
Jamiroquai
Moby
REM
Reggae
U2

Most Stupid Bands

Patrik — Mon, 11 Jul 2005 11:52:46 +0000

the libertines
the franz ferdinand
the strokes
the killers
the hives
the……
the…..
the…….
the oasis
the blur
the gorillaz
the britpop (shitpop) in general
the radiohead
the withe stripes
the foo fighters

Patrik is a filthy crack-whore of a nasty dickslap but also very famous!

Respect to All Haters: a Bunch of Assholes

Patrik — Sun, 10 Jul 2005 11:49:08 +0000

everyone (and to be a bit more specific:)
people who play in a ‘the-band’
the fuckheads in libertines
chris martin
liam gallagher
the other gallagher bitch (ah yes noééél)
NME
people who work at NME
people who buy NME
people who read NME
Essence: every band that’s hyped in MNE is a worthless piece of crap

Patrik is a kind honeybun of a nice guy an also very famous!

Hate, Hate and More BLOODY HATE

Steph — Fri, 01 Jul 2005 12:55:14 +0000

Cigars and their stinking self-obsessed smokers
4x4s/landrovers/SUVs and their blasted drivers
Microsoft f-ing Word
The Project for the New American Century + all their vapid white house members & friends
Arrogance – especially when (typically) coupled with ignorance
The fact that alcohol causes weight gain
The 9 to 5 job

Stephanie is a flash-wunderkind and Whitechapel multi-instrumentalist.