- If I could cum cheese whiz.
- If boobs had slurpee in them.
- Laser eyes.
- One word: talons.
- If talons was spelled: talunz.
- A leather owl or penguin.
- Cake, the food, not the band.
- If I could make a deal with god to trade Lars Ulrich for Cliff Burton.
- A desert island prison to put all teenagers until they turn 21.
- A middle finger that can be seen from space.
- Fingering.
- A hypercolor tuxedo.
- If clouds rained pee pee.
- A whistle that when blown makes everyone 12 yards shit their pants.
- A winged TV that follows me wherever I go.
- If church had orgies.
- Pants made out of actual fire.
- If boogers were actually nerds candy.
- Short circuit 3.
- A prosthetic falcon surgically attached to my shoulder. Either shoulder is fine.
- If magic shell made spaghetti sauce.
- Dorf on golf: The soundtrack.
- Bazooka hands.
- If I could fart lightning bolts.
- More handjobs.
- Fingering.
- A biomechanical wolf.
This list ist from the booklet of Christmas by the fantastic Old Man Gloom.